This Monday Mum is a little bit different. I am dedicating this article to my gorgeous mum, Judy. Today is 4 years and 11 months since she passed away. Every year I celebrate her anniversary with a cup of tea (her favourite) and some cake. This year for her 5th anniversary I will be on a plane to LA so will have to have a tea and cake over in sunny California!
Nicky and Mum 2007
Now my mum didn’t run her own business, she worked in an office and went back to work when us kids had started school. She gave a lot of herself to us and is definitely a woman who accomplished a lot in her lifetime.
Before I had children I often thought that it was an easy decision for me to stay home and take care of the children full time. How wrong was I? After a couple of months I had to go back to work due to financial reasons and putting my 4 month old into daycare nearly broke my heart. Now being a working mum was also a very exhausting way to go about things. With my second child Andy and I decided that I would stay home with both children as the cost of daycare really didn’t make going to work that much better for us financially.
Since being at home I have found a whole new level of appreciation for what my mum did for us. She cooked, cleaned and took care of us while my dad was at work. She had very little family around her to help out and as I got older I knew she struggled a little with this.
I want to tell all mums out there:
That there definitely are low points where you just feel so exhausted you barely remember your own name but to keep going as this will pass. I need to remind myself of this many times throughout the day when dealing with a toddler and a young bubba teething.
Sleep will come one day (I’m not sure when but I hear it is about when they are 10 or so).
Take care of yourself both through good food and as much exercise as you can fit into your already hectic day.
Finally find a friend who you can openly talk to. Someone who you can tell anything to and you know they will continue to support you. If you don’t have a friend who can do this then I recommend you pay someone.
So I just want to say to my mum:
I love you so much and truly appreciate everything you did for me. You are one of the most courageous women I will ever know and have comfort in knowing that you are looking down on me as I make my journey as a mum. You taught me the importance of finding a balance between family and time for yourself. You taught me that happiness is a choice. You taught me that showing someone how much you love them is a much clearer message than using words. You taught me how to be a mother.